Restless

Today I woke up restless. Usually when I felt like this I would write, but it has been so long that I do not even know if I still know how to do it. Is writing like riding a bike? Let us find out.

I woke up and it was already almost midday, picked up my phone and realised the calendar said 15 November. Wow. Did you also feel like this year went by incredibly fast?
Just in 2018 I worked at three companies, quit two of them, went off on a backpacking trip, loved one guy intensely, then others and now maybe another.
I made lots of new friends, let go of several others and grew closer to a few more.
Some days I meditated and felt every part of my body, on other days I travelled and discovered how all of this in me connects with all of this in you.

Today I remembered why I love art, when I read a three‑year‑old text of mine that made me feel exactly what I felt when I wrote it.
On other days I simply loved being able to admire the view of the sky and the smiles of the people I love.
I do not know, everything is happening but everything feels so light, so right, so simple despite being complex, long and messy. It is hard to express something so abstract, something that simply is. But it is.

I had to lose myself to see that it is okay to change plans, it is okay not to be sure about everything, it is okay. Having goals is necessary, aiming for things is necessary, but it is essential to know that life is more about the journey than about the destination.
The feeling is like when you are on your way to a beach, but you look to the side and everything along the way is just as beautiful as the beach. The lakes, the trails, the view from the bridge, the other beaches that come before, the sky, the cooling breeze, the person beside you, the silence and the sound. In truth, “there” can be any one of those places.

And I want to go back, back to recording a whole life of events, so I never forget that living is about this: enjoying the journey, being afraid and not letting it paralyse you, taking risks, letting yourself go, choosing to go, just going. And I will keep going.