The person we were at fifteen, full of dreams and confusion.
The person we became when life asked us to be stronger.
The person we are at work, trying to sound confident and capable.
The person we are with family, softer or louder or quieter.
The person we are in another language.
The person we are in another country.
The person we are when no one is watching.

Are they all us?

I think they are.

For a long time, I thought becoming yourself meant finding one clear, final version. As if one day everything would click and I would know exactly who I was, what I wanted, where I belonged and how I was supposed to move through the world.

But the more I live, the more I think we are not one fixed thing.

We change with the places we live in.
With the people we love.
With the work we do.
With the losses we survive.
With the languages we speak.
With the dreams we outgrow and the new ones we slowly accept.

Some versions of us disappear without a proper goodbye. Others stay quietly in the background, showing up in small ways. In a song. In a smell. In an old photo. In the way we react to something before we even understand why.

I think about the version of me who started writing online without knowing where it would go. The version of me who wanted to leave. The version who arrived somewhere new and suddenly missed everything she thought she wanted to escape. The version who was brave because she had no other choice. The version who is still learning that being soft does not mean being weak.

Sometimes I miss who I was.

Sometimes I am grateful I am not her anymore.

Maybe that is the strange thing about growing up. We lose ourselves a little, and then we find ourselves again, but never in exactly the same shape.

And maybe that is okay.

Maybe we are allowed to be many things in one lifetime.

A daughter. A friend. A writer. A professional. A beginner. A foreigner. A dreamer. A tired person trying again. A woman becoming more honest with herself.

Maybe the goal is not to choose one version and stay there forever.

Maybe the goal is to recognise ourselves through all the changes.

To look back and say: yes, that was me too.

And to look forward without needing to know exactly who we will become next.

Before every thought could become a caption. Before every feeling needed a hook. Before every sentence had to be useful, searchable, shareable or aligned with a strategy.

I miss writing because something inside me was too loud to be able to stay quiet.

Not because it had a goal. Not because it needed to perform. Not because it had to teach, sell, convert or explain anything.

Just because I needed somewhere to put what I was feeling.

When I first started writing online, I did not think too much about audience. I was not thinking about engagement, keywords, structure or whether the title was strong enough. I was just writing.

Sometimes badly. Sometimes dramatically. Sometimes with too many feelings and not enough punctuation.

But it was mine.

There was something beautiful about writing before I learned how everything could be turned into content. Before I understood platforms, algorithms, positioning, personal branding and all the invisible rules of being seen online.

Back then, writing felt less like production and more like discovery.

I did not always know what I wanted to say when I started. I found it slowly, sentence by sentence.

At some point, the internet changed.

Or maybe I changed.

Writing became content. Photos became assets. Thoughts became ideas. Experiences became stories. Stories became posts. Posts became strategy.

And I love strategy. I really do.

I love understanding why a message works, how people connect with it, how a campaign comes together, how words can create meaning and movement.

But sometimes I miss the version of writing that did not need to justify itself.

The version that did not need to become anything.

There is a strange pressure now to turn every part of life into something visible.

If you read a book, you can post about it. If you go for a walk, you can film it. If you have a thought, you can make it into a carousel. If you learn something, you can turn it into a lesson.

And sometimes that is beautiful. Sharing can create connection. It can help people feel less alone. It can turn ordinary moments into something meaningful.

But not everything needs to be shared to matter.

Some things are allowed to stay private. Some thoughts are allowed to be unfinished. Some feelings are allowed to exist without becoming a post.

Maybe that is what I miss most: creating without asking what it is for.

Without wondering if it fits my website, my work, my voice, my category, my audience, my future self, my professional self, my creative self.

Just writing because the day felt strange. Because I remembered something. Because I was sad for no clear reason. Because the light came through the window in a way that made me want to describe it. Because something small happened and I did not want to forget it.

There is a kind of freedom in creating without immediately turning it into proof of something.

Maybe the answer is not to reject content.

Content is part of my work. It is part of how I think, create and communicate. I know the value of making ideas clear and useful. I know there is care in shaping a message so it reaches someone properly.

But I also want to keep a place where writing can be messy.

A place where it does not need to teach. A place where it does not need to sell. A place where it does not need to be strategic. A place where I can simply be a person trying to understand herself.

Maybe both can exist.

The professional writing and the personal writing. The planned content and the strange little notes. The strategy and the feeling. The work and the secret place.

I miss writing before I knew what content was.

But maybe what I really miss is not the past.

Maybe I miss the permission I used to give myself.

Being authentic on social media takes courage. It’s easy to fall into the trap of wanting to please, following the latest trends, and only sharing the perfectly polished moments. But the true connection doesn’t come from perfection; it comes from our humanity. That’s where authenticity truly shines.

Being authentic isn’t about exposing all our vulnerabilities or sharing every detail of our lives. It’s about staying true to who we really are, and sharing what genuinely matters, without worrying too much about likes or comments. It’s about saying what you think and feel, in a way only you can. Posting what resonates with you, not just what you think will please others.

Connection is the consequence.

In the end, being authentic on social media is about freeing yourself from expectations and living more lightly. It’s about connecting with people in a genuine way, showing who you are, without filters—or with the filters that make sense to you. When we allow ourselves to be real, the magic happens: we attract those who resonate with our truth, creating connections that go beyond the screen.

Step-by-Step Guide to Being More Authentic on Social Media

1. Reflect on Your Values:
   • Take time to consider what truly matters to you. What are your core values, beliefs, and passions? Use these as your guide for what to share.
2. Create with Intention:
   • Before posting, ask yourself if what you’re sharing aligns with your values. Is this something that reflects who you are, or are you just following a trend?
3. Embrace Imperfection:
   • Don’t be afraid to show the less polished sides of your life. Authenticity isn’t about perfection—it’s about being real. Share the ups and downs, the successes and struggles.
4. Set Boundaries:
   • Decide what you’re comfortable sharing. Authenticity doesn’t mean you have to expose everything. It’s okay to keep certain aspects of your life private.
5. Engage Authentically:
   • When interacting with others on social media, be genuine in your responses and comments. Engage with content that truly resonates with you, not just what’s popular.
6. Post for Yourself:
   • Share what you find meaningful and inspiring. Don’t let the pursuit of likes dictate your content. If it matters to you, it will matter to the right audience.
7. Be Patient:
   • Authenticity might not bring instant popularity, but it builds a loyal and engaged audience over time. Be patient and trust that the right people will connect with you.
8. Reevaluate Regularly:
   • Social media trends change, and so do we. Regularly reassess your content and your approach to ensure it still aligns with who you are and what you value.

By following these steps, you’ll cultivate a more authentic presence on social media, leading to deeper connections and a more fulfilling experience online.

For more inspiration and tips, join my Newsletter! It’s FREE!

I made a video to explain more about this whole process and share a little of what I learned with it! It is in Portuguese but with English subtitles.

My book

In my book, “Where do we learn to love?” you will find a collection of 11 poetic and fictional tales about self-love, love for others, love for life, and all the turbulence that can cause. It can make you overflow or empty you. It is available in Portuguese and English, and can be purchased on Amazon.

When you read it, please leave a review on Amazon if you can; I’ll be very grateful! (:

All links!

• My book in Portuguese
• My book in English
• My book at UICLAP
• My book at Amazon BR
• My book at Amazon UK
• Book Tiktok – @wanderwithmybook
• My personal Tiktok – @alo.telo
• My personal Instagram – @alo.telo
• English Instagram where I want to share my creative journey – @alot.creative
• My Portuguese Newsletter
• My English Newsletter
• Bia’s Instagram | She can help you with your book layout! – Bia
• Writing club – @somosvalentinas
• Book A Ilha dos Sentimentos Perdidos – Hada Maller
• Book O Homem, o Lagarto e a Princesa – Érika Kohler
• Book Navalha, veneno e mistério – Ana Cristina Pacheco Marques
• Book The Artist’s Way – Julia Cameron
• Google Drive – To write and save text files
• Adobe Indesign – To design the layout of your book
• Adobe Templates – E-book Templates
• Canva – To make the layout and cover design of your book
• Fiverr – Where to find professionals to help you
• Upwork – Where to find professionals to help you
• KDP Cover Dimensions – To not make mistakes when making the cover of your book
• Kindle Create – To layout Kindle / E-book files
• CBL – Brazilian Book Chamber (Copyright registration, ISBN, Barcode, Catalog card) very good price for ISBN compared to UK Nielsen BookData
• Amazon KDP – To publish your book in England and other countries (and in Brazil for the E-book version)
• UICLAP – To publish your book in Brazil
• ACX Amazon – To find narrators and sell your audiobook on Amazon’s Audible

I hope this post has been helpful to you and that it helps in your writing and self-publishing journey. If you have any questions or suggestions, please do not hesitate to contact me. Good luck! And don’t forget to comment, I really want to know your opinion about all of this!

With much affection,

Amanda

And here, I felt like writing about nothing specific but how small things save us daily. I grabbed my notebook and started to remember. Amid the emptiness of the weekend, I started searching through memories of how I used to deal with all of this, and the blog came to mind.

It has always been here, in different platforms, formats, and moments, but I have always liked blogging. Maybe it’s the nostalgia of the 15-year-old Amanda who spent hours tinkering with the HTML of Blogspot, who came up with a new topic to discuss every month and was amazed by every new content and possibility she stumbled upon. Maybe it’s nostalgia for the friendships and amazing people I felt truly connected to because we always commented on each other’s blogs. Maybe it’s nostalgia for something new, something mine, something I had never found anywhere else, freedom.

But time changes, I’ve changed, and everyone has been changing too. Maybe it’s nostalgia for another life, context, or the internet. Perhaps it’s just good.

I don’t know. It still warms my heart to return here, just like today’s sun warms my skin. The small things, which may be significant, really make a difference. They save us, welcome us, and remind us.

Once again, I write not to forget that the sun always returns. And no matter how empty, dark or cold, something unexpected can make us alive again. Just keep going.

She apologized and extended a hand to help me up from the ground. She offered to walk with me and, so curious to learn more about her, I accepted. As we walked, she told me about the life she led. She was free and brave, and no matter how much the world repeated the same things to her that they said to me, in this other version of me, she believed in herself. And by believing, she opened up, studied, spoke, did, and was. What she wanted and liked. And she did it for herself.

Just to be. I confess that when I listened to her, I didn’t recognize myself, even though talking to her was like talking to my reflection in the mirror. And as I thought about this, the image in front of me flipped and I realized. She has always been me. And now when I look in the mirror, I remember that I am her too.

I feel the ice on the tips of my fingers, but I can’t stop typing; I must be crazy. Tea with milk, breakfast that looks like lunch, and cars are backwards. I must be lost, am I really here?

Today I woke up with Penny Lane in my head and remembered that I’m just a few minutes away from there. Surreal.

Doctor Who on TV and someone asks if he accepts a cup of tea, but I think the voice comes from somewhere else. The place is here, next to me, a virtual love that became the most real thing in my life. And he is real, I am real, the dream is real.

Maybe I’m crazy, but I’m really here.

I’m here, Liverpool is now my home.

I woke up and it was already almost midday, picked up my phone and realised the calendar said 15 November. Wow. Did you also feel like this year went by incredibly fast?
Just in 2018 I worked at three companies, quit two of them, went off on a backpacking trip, loved one guy intensely, then others and now maybe another.
I made lots of new friends, let go of several others and grew closer to a few more.
Some days I meditated and felt every part of my body, on other days I travelled and discovered how all of this in me connects with all of this in you.

Today I remembered why I love art, when I read a three‑year‑old text of mine that made me feel exactly what I felt when I wrote it.
On other days I simply loved being able to admire the view of the sky and the smiles of the people I love.
I do not know, everything is happening but everything feels so light, so right, so simple despite being complex, long and messy. It is hard to express something so abstract, something that simply is. But it is.

I had to lose myself to see that it is okay to change plans, it is okay not to be sure about everything, it is okay. Having goals is necessary, aiming for things is necessary, but it is essential to know that life is more about the journey than about the destination.
The feeling is like when you are on your way to a beach, but you look to the side and everything along the way is just as beautiful as the beach. The lakes, the trails, the view from the bridge, the other beaches that come before, the sky, the cooling breeze, the person beside you, the silence and the sound. In truth, “there” can be any one of those places.

And I want to go back, back to recording a whole life of events, so I never forget that living is about this: enjoying the journey, being afraid and not letting it paralyse you, taking risks, letting yourself go, choosing to go, just going. And I will keep going.

In the age of Skype, Facebook, Twitter, the internet presents itself as a tool where friends and relationships can be made regardless of where people live. We can find people similar to us who live on the other side of the world and become friends with them. But what seems to happen is that we end up distancing ourselves from those around us, valuing screen‑to‑screen contact more than face‑to‑face contact.

But is this destroying relationships or just creating a new kind of relationship that fits the busy life of big cities, where we do not have time left to go out and see friends in person? In a world of weakening relationships or the emergence of a new kind, one word, one feeling, one expression comes into focus: loneliness. According to the Houaiss dictionary of 2004, loneliness is a feminine word that means the “state of someone who is or feels alone”.

No subject is just one thing or the other, the famous inner‑direction and other‑direction, where the human being would not be defined totally by the environment nor totally by their subjectivity, as David Riesman cites in his book “The Lonely Crowd”. Thus, this is also how I think about loneliness: no one is totally solitary or has never felt loneliness, everyone has a bit of both. The difference lies in the duration and in the depth with which each person feels it.

Many claim that loneliness is something of this new era, but we can say that it is not. First, it arises with individualism. In Greek society, according to Aristotle, individualism still did not exist, because value lay in the whole, in the city. It is in the Hellenistic Greek schools, in the form of the extra‑world individual, that this concept of individualism arises. By renouncing social values, the individual begins to think of themselves as a unique being and their individual will becomes the source of their dignity and integrity.

“Hellenistic thought shifts the principle of the individual’s fulfilment from the Greek ethical‑political world to the extra‑worldly ideal, which emphasises the individuality of man as a subject outside the world, as a universal individual through the law of universal nature or of reason.” (COSTA, 1997)

And in this way, it is in the bosom of this holistic society that Christianity finds space and leads the individual into a transcendental and personal relationship. Thus, Christianity inaugurates an individualism of a universal transcendental nature, totally dissociated from socio‑political reality.

With Saint Augustine, these concepts become even more radical: he suggests an extra‑worldly, subjectivist individualism of a singular nature, that is, human freedom is first experienced in one’s relationship with oneself, and only afterwards does the social sphere gain importance. For Saint Augustine, individual freedom would be a gift from God, and the principle of this freedom would be free will.

Now that we have a better understanding of the emergence of individualism, we can go back to analysing loneliness further, continuing to find examples of it in art, books, films, etc. There in Madame Bovary, the French classic by Gustave Flaubert, loneliness is shown in earlier times. “To escape the monotony of marriage and provincial life, the dreamy Emma Bovary loses herself in idealisms, lovers and debts. In narrating the decline of this woman, and also of bourgeois society, Flaubert offers us the modern novel par excellence.” (SKOOB).

Madame Bovary shows how her bonds are superficial, for example in her relationship with her child. She also uses several methods to try to make up for the loneliness that surrounds her, such as having several lovers and shopping until she is in debt. Even though she is always accompanied, she feels alone. And at the end of her life, she dies alone, without leaving any real mark on those who lived around her.

“For any society to function well, its members must acquire the kind of character that makes them want to act in the way they have to act as members of society or of a particular class within it. (…) External force is replaced by internal compulsion and by the particular kind of human energy that is channelled into character traits.” (RIESMAN)

This recalls how contemporary society shapes its individuals to appear “self‑sufficient”.

In modernity, saying that you need company is seen as a lack of self‑love. After all, those who are happy with themselves do not need others. And the person refuses to admit that they need someone, they really want to appear independent. But loneliness resides there and tends, in modernity, to be increasingly camouflaged and covered over with superficial things.

In times of networks, human beings want to turn everything into a network. To be able to connect and disconnect just as they do with the computer. It is undeniable that technology has changed human beings, and it seems that loneliness has always been here and now is seen as something good, perhaps a choice. With the way we think about relationships, we want to be able to control them.

Relationships are something that limit. Without a partner, the modern being is open all the time to new things, to the novelty of modernity. With a partner, they are limited. But deep down, human beings know they need contact, but are reluctant to admit it; after all, they want to appear independent and happy alone in the generation of self‑sufficiency. Even if self‑help books that help to win over the beloved or things like that always become bestsellers.

And dogs, and dog‑maniacs, also tend to replace real relationships with “trainable” animals…

Replacing the lack of contact by adopting trainable animals is also another practice that highlights this loneliness. After all, a cat or a dog fulfils the need for contact and does not bring the problems that relationships with people do.

But human beings want this agility of the network in real life; it is no coincidence that this generation is mostly about “hooking up without getting attached”. One‑night or one‑hour relationships show independence. Men and women want the pleasure of company without the prison of the sacrifices of relationships. They live the network in real life, totally disposable relationships.

“They want to end relationships in real life with a click, just as they can end them on the internet.”

The consumerism of the present also applies to relationships. We live in a consumer society, victimised by capitalism. One of the themes of this society is circulation, not the accumulation of goods. Relationships work the same way, the pleasure lies in something new.

“Consumer life favours lightness and speed. And also the novelty and variety that they promote and facilitate. It is turnover, not the volume of purchases, that measures success in the life of homo consumens.” (Bauman)

The drama of weight and lightness developed by Milan Kundera in his book published in 1984, “Nesnesitelná lehkost bytí” (in Brazilian translation, A Insustentável Leveza do Ser) can also be applied to relationships.

“The heaviest of burdens crushes us, makes us bend under it, crushes us against the ground. In love poetry of all centuries, however, the woman wishes to receive the weight of the man’s body. The heaviest burden is therefore at the same time the image of the most intense fulfilment of life. The heavier the burden, the closer our life is to the earth, and the more real and truthful it is. On the other hand, the total absence of burden makes man soar, distance himself from the earth, from the earthly being, makes him become semi‑real, his movements as free as they are insignificant.” (KUNDERA, A Insustentável Leveza do Ser)

Society has preferred the lightness of superficial and disposable relationships. But this kind of relationship does not sustain; with it, life always seems incomplete. People also flee from heavy relationships, because weight crushes, limits. And the drama of weight and lightness becomes the drama of contemporary human beings.

People have “fragile, flexible and floating” relationships because they do not want to bind themselves to others, they want to feel free, so as not to miss a good opportunity to relate.

Relationships are ambiguous blessings, as Bauman already said.

“The hypothesis of an ‘undesirable but impossible‑to‑break’ relationship is what makes ‘relating’ the most treacherous thing one can imagine” (BAUMAN).

The idea that what is to come will be better than what is happening is what drives relationships. With each experience, one gains more knowledge to make the next relationship even better. The human being who lives always in search of something perfect, with the motto of “always try one more time”.

“And the fascination with the search for a rose without thorns is never far away, and is always hard to resist” (BAUMAN).

Part of society says it is different, says it does not fit into these fragile relationships. In truth, they do fit, but they were lucky enough to find their perfect one faster than most.

However, being lucky enough to find someone who fits their standards for relating does not prevent them from having moments of loneliness. After all, loneliness is a natural feeling of human beings. Contact with someone only makes this loneliness bearable, even something forgotten at times. But it is enough to watch a good film that portrays the theme or listen to that sad song and you still identify with it. Loneliness is still there, just camouflaged.

And it comes to the fore when we tweet or post selfies on Facebook.

Small signs that we need contact, we frequently need contact. A book, a purchase, something that fills the existential void when the loved one is not there to fill it.

Relationships that completely fill the void are a utopia of society and, no matter how much we relate, as in the case of Madame Bovary in Flaubert’s novel, in the end we die alone.

The possibilities of the virtual world are also traps for lonely hearts and beings with an evident existential void. We dive into the web and spend hours talking to people we only know by nickname, people who may be just a sham, a constructed being. But since there is the possibility of relating as “invented” beings, it is also possible for us to hide behind these nicknames and be whoever we want.

There, you no longer need to be the devoted wife or the lonely bachelor.

There, it is possible to be the “needy‑married‑woman” or the “40‑year‑old‑bachelor”. Invented personalities for a liquid world, where liquid relationships happen. Liquid relationships that, in those moments, manage to fill the void.

Think about it: this isn’t the kind of decision you can make at the last minute, like choosing what nail polish to wear. It’s a choice that can change the course of your life, and one that needs to be made with awareness and preparation.

Deciding: to make up your mind, it helps to make a list. Write down everything you’d never do, what you enjoy doing, what you’re good at, and what options you have. Of course, as I’ve already said, this is a decision that takes time (but the sooner you start thinking about it, the better). You’ll make choices, think twice, maybe change your mind and start over.

All I can wish you is good luck, and that you don’t regret the decision you make.